Last night I did a bad thing. After many many warnings and self warnings about not googling too much, something in the back of my head was niggling for me to google “Grey’s anatomy omphalocele.” You see, I have watched that show from the very beginning, and ever since we learned that our babe had an omphalocele, I kept having this nagging feeling that I’ve seen it on Grey’s before. And so I googled it. And found this.
Truth be told once I read the article I remember watching that episode and remember having the same reaction as the article author. Namely “yuck I wish I hadn’t seen that”. Now of course everything has changed. This is my precious little baby and not a monster that you should run away from. And I don’t want doctors that feel like they have to treat my baby. I want them to love and respect my baby for how far she’s come and respect the fact that as her parents we put all our trust in them to make sure they will go above and beyond for her. I also don’t want people to think of my child as a freak of nature or feel sorry for us for having a child with this condition. But there is still a little part of me that worries what if I meet my little girl and can’t get past the little extra omph? Will I be too scared to help dress her, feed her, put cream on her omphalocele? What if someone punctures the omphalocele, what if I puncture it?! Of course I know that none of these thoughts are rational. I can’t force people to not have irrational emotions towards a child with differences just as I cannot turn off the maternal instincts to love and fight for my child every way I can.
But therein lies the problem of Dr. Google. Be it excerpts from a popular tv show that dramatizes everything for that shock factor, a well written personal blog of the struggles one family had to go through, or a straight forward facts page. As a parent going through the situation it is really hard to think rationally and logically when consulting Dr. Google. It’s hard enough when it is your own health care professionals. I am sure everyone knows the terrible feeling when you have a doctor or nurse who has particularly bad bedside manner. Now think of this person available to you 24 hours a day, every time you have that niggling in your mind. And sometimes he lies. Damn you for your ever increasing convenience, internet!! Must try harder to not consult Dr. Google. Any good books I should read everyone?